I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
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