fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
