I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
