don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
