honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
