So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize