I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
