Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
