I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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