There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Pooping to opera.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
