at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
