One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
The uberlube is also flammable
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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