he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
