Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
