Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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