a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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