are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
