Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize