the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
