Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
