That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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