dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
