it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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