I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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