Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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