You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Randomize
