saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
