mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
