just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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