I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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