Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Randomize
