There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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