She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i would punch a child for taco bell
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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