At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
