Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
