I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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