I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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