Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Randomize
