worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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