Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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