we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
