HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
