Already got asked if we're dating
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
