I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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