Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
