You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize