did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
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