fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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