So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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