she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
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