What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
