Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
What drink are we having for lunch?
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Randomize