How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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