OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize