with your own penis?
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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