he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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