It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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