dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
