Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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