worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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