he puts the penis in happiness.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I want to fling myself into the sun
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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