doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Randomize