you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
