i jhust puked up my retainher.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
